In my devotions this week l was reading through the book of Genesis and as l read my mind kept going back to Genesis 2:18. I spent some time in prayer asking God to help me understand this verse and be able to share it with somebody. I am thrilled to be able to share this post with you today. I am not yet married so as a result marriage is somewhat of a mystery to me, something l can only read about, pray about, learn about and hopefully be prepared for when the time comes.
Genesis 2:18 is a very special verse. I mean this is the first time after God had created all the beautiful seas, animals, vegetation and Adam himself that he used the word “It is not good” everything to that point had been “very good.” I can only imagine that Adam had been in the garden for a little while, tending to his new home that God had created for him. When God looked around and said “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.(kjv)” I want us to focus on the last bit “make him an help meet for him.”
Other bible versions phrase it like this;
- “..I will make him a helper suitable to Him.” (NIV)
- “..I will make a helper fit for him.” (ESV)
- “..I will make a helper who is just right for him.” (NLT)
- “..I will make a companion for him who corresponds to him. (NET)
- “…I will make a helper comparable to Him.” (NKJV)
The question that l want you to think about as you read this article is “What am l doing as a single woman to prepare myself to be a help meet for my future husband?” When we talk about being a “helper” some people get the idea of inferiority but that’s not what this verse alludes to. I did a little research about what it means to be a “Help meet” and this is what l found:
- The word “helper” in Hebrew is ezer. The word is often used in reference to God as our helper. The nature of activity of helping someone is so varied, you can help someone who has greater authority, someone who has equal authority or someone who has lesser authority than you but the point is that Eve was not to help Adam as someone who was inferior to him but rather she was to be a helper “fit for him”. The Hebrew word kenegdô is also used in this verse meaning “a help corresponding to him.” That is equal and adequate to himself.”
- The word “meet” means “suitable” or “adapted to”. The Lord made for man a “help” corresponding to his moral and intellectual nature, supplying what he needs, the counterpart of his being.
- A wife is her husband’s correspondent, his counterpart, suitable to his nature and his need, one like himself in shape, constitution and disposition. A second self: one to be at hand or near him, to converse familiarly with him, to be always ready to support and comfort him, and whose care and business it should be to please and help him. (Benson commentary)
Therefore simply put, a helpmeet is one who helps another. God created us to be help meets. We will find God’s perfect will in our lives as we seek to be the help meets that he designed us to be.
I love how E.G.White explains this verse;
“God himself gave Adam a companion. He provided “an help meet for him” a helper corresponding to him – one who is fitted to be his companion, and who could be one with him in love and sympathy. Eve was created from a rib taken from the side of Adam, signifying that she was not to control him as the head, nor to be trampled under his feet as an inferior, but to stand by his side as an equal, to be loved and protected by him. A part of man, bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh, she was his second self, showing the close union and the affectionate attachment that should exist in this relation.”
Now lets answer that question, how do l prepare myself to be a helper for my future husband?
- Firstly ask God for wisdom as you prepare yourself and ask Him to teach you how to be a godly wife.
- Pray for your future husband – you don’t just wake up married one day and start praying for your husband. It needs to start now. I’ve developed the habit of praying for my future husband, that as God develops me and moulds me into the woman that He wants me to be He will also be moulding and shaping Him into the husband that He wants him to be.
- Commit yourself to God daily – Study the bible, make it your life-line. The word of God should be the foundation of your life. Take time to memorize scripture, this will not only benefit your life now but it will also benefit your future marriage. Imagine those hard times that you will go through with your husband, he is going to need strength from somewhere so you need to take time to be filled so that you are ready to pour into him. Allow God to teach you, transform you and strengthen you so that you are able to edify, build up and encourage your husband. He is going to need it and truth is that you cannot give away that which you do not yourself possess. Make it your aim. God is faithful, He will prepare you.
- We are called to be co-labourers with God as we prepare for his soon coming and therefore it only makes sense that you prepare yourself to co-labour with your future husband for the kingdom of God. As Christian young women we need to be ready to co-labour with our future husband in the calling that God has given us. This doesn’t start the day after you say “l do” it starts now; In your quiet time with God. If you cannot find time to spend with God now as a single woman time will not magically appear when you get married. In preparing for your future husband you need to be firmly fixed in Jesus Christ and know the power of his word in your own life. The best way to prepare for marriage is to spend time with Jesus, spend time learning of Him, his character and his life. The truth is that your relationship with God will set the standard for your marriage and your marriage will not exceed that standard. So if you want a good strong marriage focus on building an intimate relationship with God now.
- Live your life with dignity, purpose and direction. Take some time to prayerfully consider the focus of your life? Are you living out God’s will for your life or are you hanging around and waiting for God to send you a man so that your life can begin? Get busy with your life. Pursue the things of God. Pursue your passion. Build that business; take that course work towards your goals. Pour out your life to those in need of help. Be there for your family members. Respect them. The way you treat your family is more or less the way you will treat your future husband.
- Be faithful to your future husband now. Strive for purity. Stop playing around with men that you know will not marry you. There is no better time to prove faithful to your future spouse than when you are single. Make an intentional decision to flee from sexual sin, anything that you do with some other guy now is just a gift you are stealing from your future husband. Its not worth it.
- Finally, Learn how to cook, clean and manage your OWN finances. Remember “what you are at home alone, is what you are “ you will not magically become clean when you are married or learn to tidy up after yourself. It needs to start now, in your own little corner, in your own little room. Research healthy foods and cook food for yourself and learn what’s good and what’s bad. Clean after yourself and most importantly take care of your finances. Be economic. If you struggle with constantly overspending everything you have ask God to teach you and show you the right way. It all starts now. Preparation is key.
Those are my seven points for today. I’m sure you have many points of your own, you can leave in the comments section below. Write them in your journal and talk them over with God. The learning will never end as a woman, as a wife or as a mother. Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially and most importantly spiritually and let God lead you. Above all don’t make preparing for marriage be your life focus.Don’t idolize marriage. There is so much more to life. Be content in this season, be content with your portion. Be patient with yourself and with God. Be patient as God prepares you to be a help meet. Just as God brought Eve to Adam. He will awaken you to your Adam when the time is right. Rest in God, He will work out everything for your good.