On the blissfully sunny mid-morning of Tuesday September 16, 2015, following the ever so gentle guiding hand of my Heavenly Father, the relentless pursuit by my Savior Jesus Christ & the convictions of the Holy Spirit, l made the joyous decision to be re-baptized!
God had been faithfully calling me to this decision in significant, distinct & yet also very direct manners. These included a strong impression of conviction from the Holy Spirit to hearing my Heavenly Father’s call from the word being preached with calls made for rebaptism to individuals the Lord randomly placed along my path who would come up to me and share their rebaptism experience. As an avid subscriber to “womensetapart”, the Lord would also use Tendai Mutabeni’s shared testimony on how she was also led by the Holy Spirit to make that bold decision for rebaptism and the incredible peace, love, and abundant joy that God has given to her as a reward. He has rewarded her with the grandest gift of all, Himself! Her testimony left a lasting impress upon the crevices of my soul as l longed for the courage and grace to take the same stand and join in the melodious song of the redeemed sung in high crescendo and fullness of joy.
Suffice to say, God gave my mind no rest from the subject. Close to two years ago, following a broken engagement, I experienced what I have come to define as my moment of conversion in full heart surrender to the Lord. I would never have fathomed how God would give me beauty for ashes in the midst of shattered dreams but He truly knows best and over rules decisions we make unwisely for our good. Today, in retrospect, l see how in an astounding twist He used that broken engagement as a defining moment in my life that l can now say with full confidence was the best decision that propelled me to finally give my heart unreservedly to God and God alone, seeking Him while He may be found, filling me with unparalleled purpose as His much loved daughter.
For many years before my conversion experience and this pivotal moment of calling described above, l foolishly thought l could get away with putting romantic and familial relationships before my Lord, sadly being physically present in the Church with the other foot in the world and not upholding my baptismal vows to the highest esteem they merit. Sadly, I denied my Lord immensely and all l reaped were deep wounds that left lingering scars. I was also bothered as l have no memory of my prior batismal date and while in the church body from conception, l had never taken any baptismal classes.
But oh how God is faithful! He has granted me the desires of my heart first by gifting me with repentance, taking the time to re-create me anew. He would also lead me to a Friday evening young adult bible study small group that was studying Fundamental beliefs right when l joined & October 3, 2015, the day l was re-baptized will be forever etched in my soul in remebrance and surity of deep gratitude to Him!!!
While l delayed my response to this call to baptism as what l feared most was people sad to say, which the enemy held up to hold me captive from moving forward, l can attest today that indeed we have a Great Advocate in Jesus! He cast down all the devil’s arguments and upheld me with His righteous right hand as He led me to the watery grave where the old man was buried and l arose to newness of life. I am forever thankful God did not wait for me to get re-baptized to begin using me in His work, giving evidence to the truth that we are saved not by our works but by grace through faith and that not of ourselves, it is the gift of God ( Ephesians 2:8). My re-baptism was a symbolic act to affirm and publicly declare the decision l had made at the moment of my conversion to follow the Lamb wherever He may go and acknowledge my salvation in Christ alone. He has given me this opportunity to give Him my whole heart, unreservedly. He is patient, faithful, merciful, forgiving and so gracious. God is love!
I am excited for the future as I consider that He has redeemed my past & will restore abundantly, above all that l could ever ask or imagine. He who has begun a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6). I am by no means perfect, but each day He perfects!
I find much encouragement in the promises found in Psalms 37 verses 23-24
” The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him: though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.”
And when I should stumble along the way I am so thankful that 1 John 1:9 will always be there in assurance that
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
For so long my heart sought in vain to find fulfilment and love from mortal man who is subject to the same weaknesses such as l and could never be enough. Jesus had to allow me, in His wisdom, to realize experientially that only He has the love, patience, wisdom, ability and strength, to name a few, to be our all in all. To place that expectation on any one or anything else is to set oneself up for dismally painful disappointment and failure. On most days l find myself lost in the inexplicable thought of our Lord’s holiness, purity, His essence, His shockingly yet pursuant love of broken, mis-used and even dis-regarded vessels that He rescues from the clutches of Satan’s strong holds. Why He desires me is incomprehensible.
Even on my best day, it seems an unjust compensation to get one such as l whose’s heart wanders so easily, is so quick to be ashamed of Him, so keen to stumble into sin…and yet, even so, He calls me priceless, a jewel of immeasurable value, one who He has so lovingly created then redeemed by His own precious blood, and even grander, He calls me His Beloved, delight, His joy! It seems that for me, through this manner of incredible love, He has chosen to best explain to my once wandering, stubborn, stony heart the story of redemption… My redemption to be exact, not by anything l have ever done or deserve but only by unfathomable, shocking, humbling, beautiful unmerited favor….GRACE!
I love You Jesus.
If you want to share your broken to beautiful testimony with the Women Set Apart community you can email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We would love to share your testimony. We all have a story why not encourage someone struggling too along the way.